Your Story
by Santosha
Summary: After the events of Shatterpoint, Mace Windu goes to Garos IV to recover. Set in the Letters universe created by Lori and Wolfling.


This is a Star Wars fanfiction. But it's not set in the canon SW universe. It's set in the Lettersverse created by Lori and Wolfling, a somewhat more optimistic version of the SW-verse. And it is a sequel to a SW novel called _Shatterpoint_, which (a) made me want to send Mace someplace friendly to recover, and (b) included a senseless piece of sexism - apparently girls fall to the Dark Side different from boys? - which I enlisted Qui-Gon to skewer.

So yes, it's a fanfic based on a fanfic + a licensed tie-in novel.

Jess, Rilka, and Kae are lovely original characters created by Lori and Wolfling. In fact, this version of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are also, more or less, characters created by Lori and Wolfling, if based loosely on some movie or other that I seem to recall.

For _Letters _readers, this story is set at the Garos IV temple, towards the end of _Foursome_, which screws up the timeline a bit, since the Clone Wars have not started, and yet the events of _Shatterpoint _were set during the Clone Wars. I'm dealing with this by ignoring it. The Haruun Kal mission, Depa's condition, and Nick Rostu are taken from _Shatterpoint. _

Obi-Wan's clarification of the cryptic Jedi teaching "release your anger" comes from the Buddhist nun, teacher, and bodhisattva-warrior Pema Chodron.

Rated T for scary threats of violence, Buddhist teachings, and intense dish washing scenes.

* * *

"They are sending Mace to us," Qui-Gon announced.

Rilka and Anakin looked blank, not placing the name. Jess and Kae looked startled. Jess spoke first. "Mace Windu? Master Windu from the Council is coming here?"

Obi-Wan made his voice neutral. No point in terrifying everyone. "His last mission left him... in danger. The council thinks that we can help him." _For some reason_, he didn't add. And he went on to not add, _they didn't know what else to do with him_, and also, _we are expendable_.

Qui-Gon explained the bare facts that the Council's message had told them.

"Mace's last mission was to retrieve Master Depa Billaba from a planet called Haruun Kal, where she had been assigned. The last report from Master Billaba was... unsettling. Enough that the council feared she had fallen to the Dark Side. Mace was chosen to bring her in, partly because Haruun Kal is his homeworld, but mostly because Depa was once his student.

"His mission was a success - Master Billaba has been returned to the Temple on Coruscant. But the rest of the council considers that Mace's tactics may have been... overly aggressive. His behavior since returning from Haruun Kal gives them the impression that in trying to save Depa, he himself walked very close to the Dark Side."

That was putting it delicately, Obi-Wan thought. The message had said specifically that Windu was struggling to manage his anger like a raw initiate. This from a man who hadn't acted out of uncontrolled fear or anger for probably four decades.

Qui-Gon continued, "In this state, Mace is a negative influence on Depa. They still hope to bring her back to the Light, but at the moment, his presence is not helpful. The Council is also concerned that if Depa does not recover, Mace may also be lost. They want to separate them, and send him somewhere quiet. Here."

"Is Master Billaba a danger to the Temple?" Kae was clearly concerned for her friends and classmates.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "She returned from her mission too weak to walk, with crippling migraines. She is more of an invalid than a threat."

Jess frowned at this, but moved on to the more immediate problem. "Is Master Windu going to be a danger to *us*?"

Through the bond, Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon start to answer _No, _but what he said was, "I don't know."

* * *

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon watched Mace's shuttle descend towards them.

"Last stop, Master Jinn's school for problem children."

Qui-Gon responded to the nerves, rather than to Obi's lame joke intended to cover them. "Don't be afraid of Mace. He's been my friend for decades. He may be going through a difficult time, but his entire life has been dedicated to the Order. He would *never* harm another Jedi."

As the shuttle landed, Obi-Wan silently attempted to believe this. Windu was one of the most powerful living Jedi, and the thought of him fallen to the Dark Side was plain frightening. He would be even more dangerous than the Sith that had nearly killed Qui-Gon on Naboo. _Perhaps Qui-Gon is right_, Obi-Wan told himself. _He does know Mace much better than most people._ Qui-Gon's sidelong glance of reassurance indicated that he had caught most of that train of thought.

The shuttle's hatch cracked open with a hiss, and Mace appeared. To Obi-Wan's eyes and Force senses, he was as powerful and inscrutable as he had always appeared while sitting in the Council chambers, with flawless, shiny shielding that revealed nothing of Mace's thoughts or feelings. It was like looking at someone's eyes behind mirrored protective glasses.

As Qui-Gon stepped up to greet his friend, Obi-Wan exchanged bows with the shuttle's pilot, a Jedi that he knew only slightly. _An experienced Jedi Knight, sent on chauffeur duty. We don't have enough Jedi even to cover all the places where we are desperately needed, and they sent a full knight on a job any qualified pilot could do._

The pilot disappeared back into the shuttle, clearly on orders to waste no time in returning to his other duties. Turning his attention back to Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan realized with a start that he was worried. Mace still looked like the perfect image of a Jedi Master. Qui-Gon was reading something from him that Obi-Wan couldn't see.

With a brush of apology, Qui-Gon closed a mental curtain over whatever he had just learned. They had developed the technique to protect Anakin's privacy, and were getting used to the idea of knowledge that wasn't instantly shared. But in this case...

[I need to know if he is a threat.] Obi-Wan sent, as he and Mace exchanged brief formal greetings.

[I'm hoping he might talk to me.] Qui-Gon's mental voice was quiet. [I won't betray his trust even to you_._] He turned to show Mace to what would be his quarters.

[You're his friend. You'll save him if you can.] Obi-Wan's thoughts took on the sharp General Kenobi edge. [But he will not be allowed to endanger our family.]

[Understood.]Qui-Gon sent his regret, and determination. [It won't come to that.]

[Good.]

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, Qui-Gon invited Mace to help weed his garden.

Everyone else at the table snickered. Anakin said, "Every new person that arrives here, Master Qui-Gon tries to get them to help with his garden chores."

"Gardening is a good way to become closer to the living Force," Qui-Gon said serenely.

"You two go and become closer to the living Force then," Obi-Wan teased. "Anakin and Kae, if you're finished eating, I believe Master Yoda is waiting to help you practice Force levitation. Jess, help me clean up the kitchen."

Jess's mock salute and "yes, General" made Kae and Anakin laugh. Catching Mace's expression, Obi-Wan belatedly remembered that he was also a Jedi General. Good. Maybe having their equal military rank brought to his attention would encourage him to see Obi-Wan as an equal instead of a junior knight. Ha. Right.

As everyone dispersed, Jess and Obi-Wan stacked breakfast dishes and carried them into the kitchen.

"You wanted to talk to me alone?" Jess asked.

"Obvious, am I?" They exchanged a smile. "I'll wash and you dry."

"Have you and Qui-Gon disagreed about Master Windu?"

"They are old friends." Obi-Wan stared down at the dish water. "I don't know if he can be objective about Mace. He's determined to save him."

Jess searched for a clean towel. "You don't think he can?"

"I think we need a contingency plan. Mace falling to the Dark Side is too big a threat to risk. If he can't be saved, we need to be ready to make sure he can't harm the padawans, or Rilka."

Jess froze at the mention of his wife, and then said very seriously, "I'm in. What do you need?"

"I need you to be ready to help me kill him."

_"What?"_

Obi-Wan continued, "I don't think I could defeat him alone, and there might not be time to argue with Qui-Gon about it. I need someone who will be ready to act when needed."

Jess took a moment to find his voice. "Who decides when it's needed? Are you so sure you will be right?" He didn't sound angry, just working out the details of the plan.

"I wouldn't ask you to obey me against your better judgment." Obi-Wan blushed at this idea.

"If our family is in danger, I'll act without hesitation," Jess promised. "If you think they are in danger, I will take your concern seriously. And I'll help you watch Master Windu for signs of trouble that Qui-Gon might be too close to see."

It was a relief to have an ally. "Thank you, Jess. That's all I could ask for." They clasped forearms, formally, and then changed that into a hug.

Which was promptly interrupted when a mud-covered Master Windu came back in through the garden door, trailed by Qui-Gon.

Noticing the intense moment that they had interrupted, Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's mind with apology and curious concern. [What - ?]

Obi-Wan pulled their mental curtain closed. [Private for now. We're okay. Don't worry.] Aloud, he said, "You haven't been gardening ten minutes."

"Mace is bored," said Qui-Gon.

"Qui-Gon is micro-managing my weeding," said Mace.

The perfectly calm Jedi Master facades cracked slightly.

"It's not weeding if you pull up the plants I'm trying to grow."

"It's not getting closer to the living Force if you're yelling at me all the time."

Obi-Wan and Jess kept their faces straight, with impressive discipline. Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at them anyway, before telling Mace, "You're bored."

"I'm bored," Mace agreed peaceably. "Let's go do katas instead."

He headed out of the kitchen. Qui-Gon paused for an instant. [I don't like that we have to keep things from each other.]He sounded resigned.

[Only for now.] Obi-Wan responded. He grabbed the snickering Jess, and dragged him along. "Let's go catch up with Mace and see how the Force lessons are going."

* * *

In the training salle, Anakin and Kae were surrounded by a gently rotating circle of floating objects including datapads, cushions, dishes, boots, t'lya, and Master Yoda. Rilka sat in a corner watching, with a large mug of tea.

Upon getting a good look at Mace, Yoda's ears perked up. "Gardening you have been. Balance the Force always finds."

"I beg your pardon?" Mace managed to look dignified in spite of the mud.

"Avoided going to Dagobah with Master Orath you did. To Haruun Kal you went instead. Unreasoning prejudice you have against mud."

"An unreasoning prejudice I have against Master Orath," Mace grumbled. "Pick someone else to do your dirty work if you want to punish him."

Mace looked around the room in mild confusion as every single person present regarded him with warm approval.

"No," Qui-Gon said judiciously, "that is a completely reasonable prejudice."

Yoda chuckled. "Finds you anyway the mud does. Balance the Force always finds." Yoda pointed his stick at Mace's muddy knees.

Giggles threatened the padawans' control, but Obi-Wan caught t'lya just as Qui-Gon caught Yoda, and the only casualty was one broken plate.

By general consensus, force levitation lessons ended for the day, and everyone moved on to practice katas. After doing a few in unison with the group, Mace restlessly moved to the other end of the salle.

Anakin looked up a few minutes later and asked, "What is _that_?"

Mace's purple saber was whirling in a constant series of curving, unpredictable movements as the Force wove itself around him. The moves looked unconnected, awkward, as if there were no pattern, but were incredibly fast.

"That is called Vaapad," Qui-Gon said softly. "The saber form that Master Windu created."

Anakin watched Mace move, fascinated. The Force screeched at Obi-Wan like nails on a chalkboard. _Anakin must not study Vaapad._ He took a deep breath before speaking. "I thought you wanted to specialize in Ataru like Master Qui-Gon and Master Yoda."

"And you," Anakin added.

"I might be changing my style," Obi-Wan commented. "After Naboo I started to become very aware of Ataru's defensive weaknesses." [Perhaps you noticed them too, Master.]

[I am not changing my entire fighting style because one fight went badly.] It was an old argument, without much heat left in it.

"In any case, I will not teach Vaapad." Mace finished the kata with a swirling salute. "I have come to believe that Vaapad should die with me - me and Depa. I won't put another student through what it did to her."

"Learning your form wasn't what harmed Depa," Qui-Gon protested, gently.

"The point of Vaapad is to walk close to the Dark Side. It makes you hard to defeat in combat but vulnerable to falling. What good is it to win your battles if you lose the war?"

"Depa hasn't fallen to the Dark Side." Qui-Gon sounded like he was stating the obvious.

"You didn't see her. The state she's in..." Mace growled.

Obi-Wan sent privately, [The council said she had...]

Qui-Gon cut both of them off. "The council said she was an _invalid_. Jedi fallen to the Dark _gain _strength, they don't lose it. The Dark tempts us with quick, easy power, not with weakness and pain! Do you think I don't know what it is like to lose a student to the Dark Side?"

No one mentioned Xanatos by name.

"I don't care what those fools calling themselves Councilors said about her. She is still fighting the Dark. She's fighting it with every ounce of her considerable strength. She hasn't given up yet, and the least we can do is not give up on her."

Mace snarled and advanced on Qui-Gon. "How dare you, how _dare_ you speak to me about giving up! If you had seen Haruun Kal, what she went through there, what I went through to find her…"

The Force crackled around Mace, and the taste of it made Obi-Wan snap to attention. He reached out to Anakin. [Padawans out. Now.] Jess must have given the same order. Anakin and Kae moved as one, without argument, collecting t'lya and the protesting Rilka on the way out.

Objects in the salle began to fly in random directions, smashing themselves against the walls. Tendrils of Force energy lashed at Qui-Gon, who fended them off. "Mace! Talk to me."

Mace's rage and power filled the room. "She is lost! Because of me, what I taught her! You have the nerve to lecture me?"

Jess and Obi-Wan made silent eye contact. They would act before Mace had time to strike at Qui-Gon.

And then…

Yoda's presence clamped down on everyone like a deluge of ice water. "Enough this is! Fight you will not."

For a moment, no one could move or breathe. Then Qui-Gon joined his power to Yoda's, and the two of them moved in, talking softly to Mace.

Jess grabbed Obi-Wan and they fled to the hallway.

"Obi, I think we are a bit out of our weight class in there."

Obi-Wan slid down the wall to sit on the floor. "I wish I'd got Anakin to teach me some appropriate Huttese curse words."

Jess sat heavily beside him and looked at his shaking hands. "I was going to go reassure Kae, but maybe I'll wait until I feel a little less terrified."

Obi-Wan sent a very quiet mental inquiry to Qui-Gon, not wanting to distract him. [Are you okay?]

[We will be. Can you check on Anakin?]

[Of course, that's where I'm going.] Obi-Wan sent the image of himself and Jess taking a moment to recover before going to be with their students.

Qui-Gon sent gratitude. [For a minute I wished there were two of me, and then I remembered that there are.]

[I'll figure out later what that was supposed to mean.] Obi-Wan sent, with a flicker of amusement.

[Ah, someone to be with Anakin while I am with Mace, I mean.] Qui-Gon was already turning his attention back to Mace.

"I think they are managing," Obi-Wan told Jess. "Ready to go check on Kae and Anakin?"

* * *

Rilka wanted explanations, and Kae wanted hugs. Jess gathered them up, took the speeder and put some distance between them and the Temple.

Obi-Wan and Anakin waited together on the couch for Qui-Gon to return.

"Master Windu didn't want me to be trained," Anakin remembered. "He thought I was too old and it would be dangerous."

Obi-Wan snorted. "He didn't want me to be a Jedi either."

Anakin stared. "You? But you were raised in the Temple."

"I was thirteen and no master had chosen me yet. He said I wasn't promising," Obi-Wan said. "At least you got to be 'dangerous.' He thought I was just incompetent."

Anakin smiled at this.

"He was going to send me to the Agri-Corps. To be a farmer."

They contemplated the idea of Obi-Wan as a farmer for a minute, and burst out laughing.

"But then Qui-Gon chose to teach you."

"Thank the Force," Obi-Wan said, fervently.

Anakin turned serious again. "I think I understand now why they thought I would be dangerous. I was angry. Now Master Windu is angry, and he's scary."

"Yes," Obi-Wan said softly, "that is what they meant. You're strong in the Force, like Master Windu."

"I don't want to be scary like him." Anakin shivered.

"That's why there are so many Jedi teachings about fear and anger. We could practice some," Obi-Wan offered.

Anakin frowned, thoughtfully. "Master Qui-Gon talks about releasing anger. But he also says not to squash your feelings down. Sometimes I don't know how to tell the difference."

"There are two parts to anger," Obi-Wan tried. "Think of a time when you were angry. One part of it was a story - someone did something, or said something, that you didn't think they should have. When you're angry, you tell yourself that they were wrong and you were right. That story is what you release. But there's also a feeling, separate from the story. How the anger feels in your body, in your mind, and in the Force. You don't want to squash the feeling, the energy of anger. You want to hold the energy and release the story."

Working through this, Anakin said, "Right now I'm angry with the Council. They sent Master Windu out here so that they'd be safe, and they don't care if we are."

"They don't care - that's your story. Hold the energy, and drop the story."

"This is a hard lesson."

"It is an advanced one. I think I'm still working on it myself."

* * *

Jess, Rilka, and Kae returned in time for lunch. Yoda and Qui-Gon showed up too, looking tired. No one asked them for details beyond "he's stable."

Afterward, Jess took dish duty again to talk to Obi-Wan. "I don't mean to second-guess your battle planning, General, but it was bad enough when our contingency plan was 'kill Master Windu to defend our family.' After what we saw today, I'm realizing that our plan is actually 'die in defense of our family, hoping that we get lucky and take him with us.' I like this plan less."

Obi-Wan ruefully recognized the strategy of covering fear with lame humor, and responded in kind. "The bad news is - our plan stinks. But the good news is - nothing we do is going to matter much one way or the other. If it comes down to a fight, you and I won't have much more impact on it than t'lya would."

"This is the good news?"

Accepting a clean, wet dish from Jess, Obi-Wan said, "You should leave."

Jess raised an eyebrow.

"You should take Rilka and the padawans someplace safe. Like the other side of the planet. Maybe a different planet entirely."

"Funny," Jess said, "but I just made the same pitch to Rilka. She won't leave without me, and neither will Kae."

"All the more reason you should go with them."

A few more dishes were washed and dried before Jess responded.

"Obi. You and Qui-Gon are like family to me. But even if I would consider leaving you two in danger... I wouldn't leave any member of the Order who was in danger of falling, if there was any chance, _any _chance I could help. It would be like leaving an injured comrade to die."

"Where did you get that sense of honor?" Obi-Wan wondered. "It wasn't from Orath."

Ignoring this, Jess continued, "If Master Windu falls to the Dark Side, the other side of the planet won't be safe. The _Republic _won't be safe. Kae and I are Jedi, and Rilka is a Republic officer. If the worst happens, we won't be hiding. We plan to be standing between Windu and the rest of the galaxy."

* * *

When clean-up was done, Obi-Wan went looking for t'lya. She had not shown up at meal time, which was uncharacteristic to say the least. Obi-Wan followed the sense of her in the Force, which led him to the guest quarters.

The door was open. Inside Mace was sleeping, with t'lya purring on top of his chest. On seeing Obi-Wan, she jumped down from the bed and came over to greet him.

[What is t'lya doing here?] he asked her politely.

[This one needs me] she explained, [and he is not as scary when he is asleep.]

Obi-Wan blinked at this. [t'lya is brave.]

She purred at him. [Had Obi-Wan not realized this before?]

* * *

A recorded video message arrived from someone named Nick Rostu. Mace watched it, and Obi-Wan watched Mace. Qui-Gon and Anakin talked quietly over a lesson on the other side of the room.

"I told them you already made me a Major, but they think I need some dumb officer training," the recording complained. "I told them, send your officers down to the jungle on Haarun Kal, and it'll do the training for you. They told me to make things easy on myself and go along with it. I said, you must not have heard, I work for Master Windu and we like to do things the hard way."

Mace smiled at this.

"They won't tell me where you are or how you are doing. They said they'd forward a message." Rostu's voice grew more serious. "From the way they talk, I can't tell whether you are sick or in disgrace. It's like they can't decide either." He paused. "I finally got in to see Depa."

Mace went very still.

"I told them about six times that I knew her. Heck, it was my amazing shooting that saved her life. She's still alive. Not any better. She's unconscious most of the time. They said she asked for you, once, when she woke up."

With each sentence Rostu spoke, Obi-Wan felt the Force take on more and more of that sharp, electric taste again, as anger took Mace over. Mace slapped the switch to stop playback, and stood up to pace. The room filled with his edgy presence. Dishes rattled, threatening to smash themselves. "She's practically my daughter! They have no right to keep me away from her. They are weak and fearful."

The prospect of going through this twice in the same day was just too exhausting. Obi-Wan said, "That's your story. Hold the energy, but release the story."

Recognizing the line from earlier that day, Anakin giggled, then slapped his hand over his mouth. Qui-Gon was stunned into silence. Mace whirled to face Obi-Wan.

"Do you presume to teach me a child's lesson, Kenobi? Perhaps I should teach _you_ some respect for those senior to you. Since your Master failed to do so." He moved toward Obi-Wan, saber hissing to life in a flare of purple.

Obi-Wan held his ground, his own saber in ready position but unlit. "It's _your story_, Mace. How does it end? With humility or arrogance? Peace or violence? Your friends or your pride?" Obi-Wan swallowed. "Light Side or Dark?"

Slowly, Mace's expression dissolved from anger, to confusion, to horror. His light saber flicked off and rattled to the floor as he went to his knees before Obi-Wan. Using an ancient gesture of padawan to master, he touched his forehead to the floor and said, formally, "It is a privilege to receive thy instruction."

Obi-Wan also knelt, reaching shaky hands over Mace's head to give the traditional response, "It is an honor to teach thee."


End file.
